Sometimes we have to encourage ourselves
On a recent business trip I found myself in an awkward, vulnerable, yet empowering situation. I just finished exercising at the hotel gym and decided to spend some time in the steam room. While enjoying the steam alone, I am feeling pretty good about my workout, my health, and myself in general. Then, all of a sudden walks in a very fit, beautiful young lady in the buff. Suddenly, I begin to feel somewhat self-conscious about my less fit mom bod. I even feel an urge to cover up. Thankfully, I tapped in to my inner superwoman and began to defeat the negative self-talk.
I had a couple minutes of negative self-image that caused me to reflect on the skills that I teach my clients. I had to remind myself that I spent a lot of time, energy, and money (counselors aren’t cheap) to get to a place of good self-esteem, self-worth, and self-love to let it go in just a couple minutes in a steam room. I sat there and had an inner dialog that went something like this: “ The devil is a liar, I am one hot mama. I earned these mama bear stripes, my beauty is so much more than outward appearance, but I am cute (I winked when I said that), girl you are strong, smart, bold, creative, and favored among women. You have survived things others can’t even imagine going through, you are the bravest woman you know, you have faith that can move mountains, you are a leader-a world changer and you are a daughter of THE KING!!!!!” As I type this out I smirk because as soon as I think highly of myself, like I’ve got it all figured out- boom, I am tested. The smallest of things can trigger us and have us take several steps back in our recovery and the small tools in our recovery toolbox can make the biggest difference in the growth and healing progress we make.
I could have chosen to sit there in self-pity and allow those negative thoughts to consume me and ruin my day, but I made a choice to tap into my resources, my recovery tool box and defeat the lies that would hold me in bondage and tell me I am not good enough. I worked too hard to be healthy and happy to let insecurities break me down. I am learning to embrace my imperfections, physical, emotional, and spiritual, and hand them over to the ultimate healer- God himself. Likewise, I encourage you to tap in to the resources you have and use the tools in your toolbox.
If you don’t feel as if you have the tools you need to be healthy seek out a safe person that can help you fill your toolbox.